Why you really do get wiser and cleverer with age

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As we age, we gain emotional wisdom and mental sharpness, making us better at problem-solving than ever before. Photo / 123rf
The adage “older and wiser” is actually true. We become more adept at problem-solving and are more emotionally stable, according to a study.
A new study published in the journal Scientific American has confirmed what older people have known for generations – far from becoming slow, mushy thinkers as we age, our mature brains mean we have more to offer than at any earlier time in our lives.
“The brief about older people is that they’re all kind of the same; that they’re doddering, and that ageing is this steady downwards slope,” says Laura Carstensen, founding director of the Stanford Centre on Longevity. “That view is a great misunderstanding.”
And while there’s no doubt that some senior citizens slow down in executive function – with a number of them showing signs of confusion or dementia towards the end of their lives – an encouraging proportion do not. Some even experience the opposite.
“Of the individuals we followed, with an average age of 77, the three-quarters who did not show dementia showed little to no cognitive decline,” says John Rowe, a professor of health policy and ageing at Columbia University. “We have found very clearly that things improve with age. The ability to resolve conflicts strengthens, for example. Ageing is also associated with more positive emotional wellbeing and emotional stability.”
This follows a 2010 study, published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, which showed that adults over 60 were more likely to emphasise multiple perspectives, compromise, and recognise the limits of their knowledge.
So what are the reasons behind this?
Susan Quilliam, 74, is a psychologist, author and relationship expert with over 40 years’ experience in her field. “When I read this study, I was punching the air and saying ‘yes!’”, she says. “Since the 1960s, we’ve been living in an age that celebrates youth – but it wasn’t always like this. For 10,000 years, we’ve known that older people have more knowledge of what works in life – and fortunately, people are realising that the ‘village elder’ still has so much to offer.”
As we age, the risk-taking element of our brain starts to fade, Quilliam says, and we are less controlled by the dictates of our hormones – and this is replaced by a more sophisticated mental acuity. “We know more, are more reflective and compensate for our dropping physical strength with awareness of the world and emotional wisdom,” she says.
Maggie, 65, one of many older people I spoke to about this study, agrees. “I do sometimes forget names – I couldn’t remember Nora Ephron when I was in the pub just now, so thank God for smartphones. But that is more than made up for by the wisdom I’ve obtained just from observing people in life; you see patterns, you understand how things pan out.”
While older people occasionally struggle with remembering names or using new technology, they often find themselves more adept at deeper problem-solving than when they were younger. “This is down to experience,” says Quilliam. “Human beings learn: we develop strategies to cope. The first time something happens, we find it a problem, but the second time we know: I overcame this, and this is what I have learnt.”
Jane is 70. “I’m much less easily distracted than I used to be,” she says. “I like learning languages, and I’m doing better than I did in my 20s because I know how the learning process works, where the plateaus and pitfalls lie, and what tools to use to deal with them.”
Others agree that their life experience has brought serenity, which allows them to concentrate on other things. “Because I have given up on useless distractions like ‘compare and despair’ and ‘I wish I could do that,’ I now have more brain space for appreciating art, literature and culture,” says Oliver, now 65. “I can concentrate better and remember more.”
“Now I’ve reached the age of 72, much of my fear has flown,” says Judith. “What used to be called my lack of tact is now seen as courage, and some people see me as diplomatic – a label that was never attached to me in my youth.”
Quilliam agrees that older people tend to have more emotional stability. “We eventually find a place where our feelings don’t overwhelm us,” she says. “We learn from surviving difficult situations, and become less frightened when faced with similar circumstances. As we have been parents, grandparents and employees, we are also better at resolving conflict.”
Older people see the world less in black and white, she explains. “The more people we have met and the more situations we have found ourselves in, we realise there are different themes and contexts. We learn life lessons, such as, ‘this too will pass.’”
Those with experience are also more sure of themselves and less swayed by the prevailing views of society. “I don’t care so much about what people think of me,” says Louise, 68. “I am not stripped of all ambition, but my ambitions have definitely changed to be more specific to what I actually care about – rather than what might impress others. I am less critical of others, vocally and internally.
“I like working with and knowing younger people,” she says, “but I wouldn’t actually want to be one of them”.
“Your 60s to your 80s are a wonderful time for rearranging priorities,” says Quilliam. “People aren’t as dependent on you as before, and you have a release of a burden – you can look after yourself.”
While she acknowledges that people will need the support of family and friends as they age further and become vulnerable, she says there is still a golden period to be enjoyed in later life. “At the age of 74, I find myself happier and more grateful for everything,” she says. “I cherish every foreign trip, every TV show and every connection with another person. I know my time is more limited, so I find more value in everything.”
Quilliam believes that as soon as people realise they have more years behind them than they do ahead of them, they often begin to take stock in this positive way.
Jeannie, 63, agrees that perspective has brought her happiness. “Turning 60 was a huge turning point for me,” she says. “It hit me like a ton of bricks that, unless a miracle anti-ageing potion is invented soon, my time on Earth is quite limited now. I instantly became more decisive on what I would and wouldn’t do.
“Some good things about being this age are: I feel far more confident about my ideas than ever before. I give others the benefit of the doubt more than I used to and I take more risks blurting out jokes,” she says. “The sting of embarrassing moments does not last as long now that I am older, and I laugh at myself very freely.”
Mick, 72, finds a relief in no longer having to be on the treadmill of work and professional achievement. “Eventually there’s a calmness, which brings with it a readiness to take a longer view,” he says.
“Whatever daily travails my children and grandchildren face, I can see that in the long-term they’ll be all right. They are loved and have resources, so I feel reassured. Perhaps that is what people mean when they talk about the wisdom of age.”
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